There is an aspect of recovery and of post stroke life that is often a contentious one for many survivors , and that is FAMILY . Now I know that we do not emerge from our travels in strokeland unscathed and I know that others do not always understand the storms in our heads . They do exist though , in our heads , our hearts , our memories and even if they are not physically with us and Bob is being an ass or Joe just expects you to be just like you were before your world turned upside down , the part of you that connected you to them still connects you...no matter which is being an ass them or you .
There is and always will be that you who strives to be what your family needs and expects you to be , to live up to your expectation , to your responsibility . I struggled to become the patriarch of a family from a wheelchair , from a more broken mindset than I realized , I was not being asked for help in moving in my children's first home repairs . I was unable to do repairs in my own home , to cut my own grass or shovel my own driveway , to change even a lightbulb . My self esteem and my vision of where I stood , or sat in the scheme of things was altered greatly .
As Christmas approaches , my advice to my wonderful wife , to spend less time working to make things perfect and spend time instead within the familial embrace , hits me pretty close to home . I should spend less time in my own little world , less time on what I cannot do , less on how I feel .
Bask in it my dear fellow survivors , let down your defences and notice others , feel the closeness , feel grandchildren on your knee and relive the memories that even something like a stroke could not steal , take advantage of the custom and sentiment of the season and put down the weight of your world for one day , consider it a start . Do not expect change of others if you are unwilling to change yourself .
I wish you all Happy and Peaceful holidays this too we shall survive Phil.
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