Wednesday 13 December 2017

I'M GONNA MAKE A JAILBREAK , I'M LOOKING TOWARDS THE SKY

I'M GONNA MAKE A JAILBREAK , I'M LOOKING TOWARDS THE SKY , I'M GONNA MAKE A JAILBREAK , OH HOW I WISH THAT I COULD FLY

Bars , we all live in prisons of our own, what makes each unique is the bars that keep us within. Mine , my bars are made of pain and memories . The pain of muscles , of spasms that wrack them , screams at the disuse and the memory of what they were once capable of , the simplicity of movement , the wonderful communication between mind and limb that I had and squandered . These things fill my consciousness , they form the cell that confines me . I batter the walls , pry at the locks , and occasionally my spirit gains a moment of freedom . I strive to break free but I cannot run , , my experiences tether me .

My cellmate has been with me always , keeping me sane , if I truly am , and supporting me when I falter. Love occupies the other bunk . Makes up my strength , my resolve and my tenacious belief that a better place not only exists but awaits . I rant at my barriers , bluster and yell but if I were ever to reach out in the darkness and not find her hand the very wind would leave my sails. My heart only beats because hers beats with it , each fearful step I take ends with the sound of both footfalls , hers and mine. I live in a prison of my own making , my choices were made long ago. She , though , she is here by choice , for me , for us and it is that knowledge that gives me strength , makes me feel some worth and hope. Her love represents not only safety and comfort but the possibility of such a choice being possible for me again one day.

I wish that there was only one wall my dear fellow survivors , one barrier that we could all rally against , that we could charge at en mass , but the bars are much more personal than that and the jailor holding your keys exists within each of you , each of us. Should  you manage to tunnel out send me a letter and sign it Inigo Montoya , I will have to dig my own , but I think that I prefer the idea of walking out with my cellmate one day , my sentence will only end when I choose it and it's gonna be hard. see you on the outside my friends. Phil.

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